Lately, I’ve been scrolling through TikTok and seeing something that makes my blood boil: people blaming the children for cutting off their parents.
The comments are filled with phrases like:
- “How could you just walk away from family?”
- “One day you’ll regret it.”
- “They’re still your parents.”
And quite frankly it makes me furious.
We Didn’t Ask for This
Here’s the truth: we are not the villains here. We didn’t choose the chaos, the abuse, the manipulation, or the silence. We didn’t ask to grow up walking on eggshells, to be yelled at for existing, or to carry the crushing weight of trying to keep the peace in a home where peace never lived.
We were children.
They were the adults.
They shaped us.
Why We Cut Ties
When we finally cut ties, it isn’t about cruelty or spite. It isn’t because we woke up one day and thought, “Let’s break my own heart and walk away from the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally.”
It’s about survival.
It’s about healing.
It’s about breaking cycles so that our own children don’t have to live the life we did.
Cutting off a parent is one of the hardest, most soul-shattering decisions a person can make. It is not done lightly. It is not done joyfully. It is done because the pain of staying connected outweighs the guilt of walking away.
Accountability Belongs to the Parents
The narrative needs to shift. Stop asking why the child walked away. Start asking what the parent did to make their own child believe that cutting them off was the only path to peace.
Parents shape their children for better or worse. If the result is estrangement, the responsibility does not fall on the child. It falls on the parent who failed to provide the love, safety, and stability that every child deserves.
The Bottom Line
Stop blaming the children for finally choosing peace.
Stop shaming us for refusing to carry pain that was never ours to hold.
And start holding parents accountable for the harm they caused.
Because at the end of the day, we are not the problem. We are the survivors.